Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Before and After Chaos

I should start this off by saying that John is one of the greatest guys out there - he has a huge heart and a very giving spirit - he can adapt to almost any situation he finds himself in - and will never - ever say " no " to anyone in need - ( well except to me - he's definitely learned to say no to me )
In the midst of dinner plans - he will actually stop what he's doing to go pick up girlfriends of mine that have no way of getting here - AND will sustain from drinking so that he can then drive them home when the evening is over.
He would give his last 20.00 to someone in need.
He will rearrange business appointments to pick up a piece of furniture I found on Craig's list.
He'll jump up and go to the store for me at ungodly hours because I feel like a little bit of chocolate.
He can very easily " go with the flow " and for the most part I marvel at his patience and gentle soul.
The house is currently in a state of chaos - and yes I know we're moving but I'm not good with this -
I get flustered - and anxiety ridden - and nervous - and very very crabby when I have to live like this







Soda's barking at me
John's barking at me
I'm barking at John
I'm barking at Soda........................

Last night John settled on the bed to watch t.v. -

Suzan says - how about if we pack for a couple of hours tonight -
John says - we'll start tomorrow, how's that?
Suzan says - I started 2 weeks ago - I'm getting nervous - you need to help me with this John -
you can't keep saying " tomorrow "
Suzan says - We only have 2 and a half more weeks here

John flies off the bed - very very irate - and storms off to pack  -
I lay on the bed -

John says - What the hell are you doing - I thought you said we should pack?
Suzan says - Well then I thought about it - why do I have to pack along side of you when I've already packed aproximately 150 boxes???????????????
He comes back into the room

John says - Ok - I packed a box
John says - Ok - I packed A box
( hope you're getting this )
John says - I'll finish up tomorrow

And that means - everyone - that John has now packed a box and a half - and I'm not joking
and I'm not exaggerating - and I'm not lying - John has packed A BOX AND A HALF...................

This is the one he started 2 weeks ago - it's still sitting in the office

and he packed this one tonight


I'm seriously considering this box a waste of time - because I think I'm going to unpack it and drown my sorrows :)

If any of you remember - last month when we decided to list the house - I asked him to clean out his cupboard....................he assured me would - the next day - it was seriously the ONLY place I didn't clean out and organize - simply because I'd have no idea where to start - and he gets furious with me when I do

Well so far - the buyers have seen it like that
Their bank's Appraiser has seen it like that
The Surveyor has seen it like that
And this weekend the buyer's contractor came by to take measurements -
and he saw it like that as well................

Suzan says - aren't you embarrassed?
John says - well they had no damn business going into our personal closets
Suzan says - they're buying the house !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course they're going to look in the closets
Suzan says - I posted a photo of it on the blog you know
Suzan says - Relax - I'm just joking.........................
Suzan says - But I'm starting to feel really nervous about all the work that has to be done in the new house
John says - Why?  We'll get in there and tackle it all right away........................


15 days left
And there's only so far that gentle spirit of his will carry him......................

Have a good one :)
Much love,


  1. John is a procrastinator, not a bad guy. I understand that completely. My sweetie in Seattle is a huge procrastinator and it made me just a little crazy. He never filed his taxes in April but always waited until July 15th. He did not even start looking for the bits and pieces he needed to file until around the 12th or 13th and then would be a crazy man trying to get it all done. I had no idea how to cope! Two weeks seems like an eternity to him and probably to John. Start unpacking the wine box! :)

  2. Obviously a trait in Englishmen, mine is the same!

  3. When we moved I knew I'd have to pack every single box. And I did. I always say it's annoying to have to do the man-stuff when there's a man in the house, but hubby makes up for it in a lot of other ways. :)

    Sorry you've been saddled w/the packing thus far.

  4. I'm sorry, it is just a man thing. It will get done. Don't drink all of that wine. Save some for me.

  5. I hate hate hate living in chaos and completely relate to your stress. There are no answers to motivate men to pack. Just acceptance and wine.

  6. Breathe, unpack that box of wine, have a couple glasses as you pack all the things in the house that are community property and your own stuff, leave all John's alone until he gets frantic and starts throwing it all in a box and then just laugh when he asks for help. Close your eyes when you look at John's things, he'll get it done and you'll feel less stress. We've moved twice and I have NEVER packed Mr. Wonderful's stuff and he's a hoarder, sometimes his packed boxes of junk mysteriously disappear in the move.

  7. It's a guy thing. Get two glasses while you're up, please?

  8. Yikes! Nothing like some chaos to frazzle your nerves unless it's a husband who procrastinates. Mine is very detailed oriented so that means he won't do something until he has it all figured out. I always say I'm 10 steps ahead and he's 10 ( or 100) steps behind. Unpack a bottle and enjoy a glass or more. You're almost there.

  9. That is soooo typical MEN. They are the same all over the world, lol.

    Big hug from me

  10. Okay- well I knew we were married to brothers-except mine would definitely not go for anything for me at night- unless it was Immodium and he was afraid I would have an "accident" in bed. lol
    These Johns (not the kind that have harems of girls) seem to all be what is known as a PROCRASTINATOR! They have developed it into an art. Your John's closet looks like MY John's closet except this one NEVER EVER closes the door after he has opened it.

    In my world it has come down to adapting OR smothering someone in their sleep. After some research I have discovered that smothering is illegal in this state.

    Have a happy stress-free Tuesday- go on- drink- you know you want to----xo Diana

  11. I think you have to decide which is more stressful... packing it yourself, or bugging John constantly to pack? I would pack all the things that are yours and you need (kitchen things, etc.) and just leave the rest and don't say a word. Can one or more of your children help you?

  12. I would probably just go ahead and pack because I DON'T like to argue and i's easier to just do it than get upset. When I was married - many many years ago and have been divorced for 45 years - Skip would do the same thing to me - drove me up the wall. Sooooooooo when he wanted something I would say after I hadn't done it - oh I forgot, sorry. But he NEVER got the message. I've never married again.
    John sounds like a great guy, he just knows what buttons to push, but he sounds like a keeper.
    Don't kill yourself packing - have a couple of those bottles of wine and RELAX.

  13. I know that your sense of humor and John's wine will get your through the next 15 days.

  14. Suzan I have to agree with Carol up above the wine and your great sense of humor and energy will get you to the end!!! You are doing a great job and you will make it. I am pulling for you. :)

  15. Is a mover going to move it to your home? If you packed all the good things, you could get estimate for someone to pack the rest. To tell you the truth my spouse is not good at it, and I packed a large home. In the end, I was just throwing it into boxes and the trash, because I had packed the good stuff, it was easier to toss.

  16. Maybe he'll get a last-minute burst of motivation?? Maybe he works under pressure? (I'm hunting for something here, Suzan.) :-)

    Your lovely home in boxes. sigh.

    but there IS a bright side! (You'll let us know about it when you find it, right?) ;-)

  17. just keep packing, just keep packing Suzan...I don't see this situtation getting any better. Do what you can.

  18. I feel your pain I really do! I ask my hubby to put something away and he says 'Sure!' 2 weeks later it's still laying there! Drives me nuts!

  19. Leave John's stuff for John to pack and you open a bottle of that wine and breathe my dear girl!

  20. Take very, very deep breather my friend. If I wasn't so far from you with my gimp leg and all I would be helping you. Actually, I have to change that, John would be doing it for you and tell us to go and sit down and have some wine. He is the man when it comes to that stuff. I guess he has no choice either. I can only move so fast and my hands are numb a lot. He gets stuck many times. I am making it sounds as if he is perfect, well he is nearly but he has his moments too. He drags his feet with projects big time. It will get done, John will pack up his own stuff in do time. Have a nice glass and I mean a glass of wine and some chocolate. You will get there I promise.


  21. Oh how familiar this all sounds. When we moved here a couple years ago, my husband was already living in the area (I stayed behind so HIS son could finish high school from home). A week before the move, he took said son on a trip to Washington as a graduation present leaving me behind to pack. The day BEFORE, THE DAY BEFORE the move, he packed HIS stuff in the garage. That's it. Done. Needless to say once the tv and computers were unpacked here, I did 99% of the rest.

    Why oh why can these amazing, loving, generous men sometimes forget who they are?

    Two more weeks, Suzie. Two more weeks. And unpack that wine. You're going to need it!!

  22. Have you noticed that after pictures are usually better than before in other blogs? It's like you know nothing about blogging and I have to teach you everything!
    I'm going to be optimistic as usual and I'm betting John will have packed three boxes by the end of next week!

  23. My heart goes out to you but I have learned and just done everything myself by doing one room at a time and marking my boxes as I go. Marking basic items whats in the box and which room they go into.
    I do think that most men are the same.
    Now Susan what you need to do is have pizza - beer party by inviting your friends and family members over to help with the packing and once all finished then the pizza and beer comes out. The sooner they get done, the sooner they can have the pizza and beer /wine. :}
    I'm a person who loves to pack and if I lived closer I sure would be there helping out.

  24. You've come so far... you can do this! I'm cheering you on. I hope John helps you finish up. Sounds like he's on thin ice.

  25. Suzan, I have found that you can get through anything if you can laugh about it and you have a great sense of humor. Maybe you're not laughing right now, but I'm laughing my head off; especially when I saw that partially packed box of wine. LOL My husband and I moved 15 times in the first 13 years we were married and I had to do all the packing. That was fine with me as long as it was dishes, brick-a-brack and linens, but when I came to wrenches, grease rags, bottles of brake fluid, fertilizer and all the other things you find in a garage............well, I have to admit, my patience ran short. I lived. My husband is gone now and I miss him. I'd pack a dozen garages just to have him back. He would have given me a bottle of wine and a kiss and hoped I wouldn't spill his anti-freeze. LOL John will come through for you, wait and see. Chill, choose your battles. Keep posting, I'm lovin' it.

  26. Oh girl.....I SO feel your pain! I ended up packing my entire house alone - mainly because I wanted it done in some type of organized fashion instead of thrown together haphazardly...but was careful to leave everything in the garage for my hubs to pack. lol Yep, I was stressed and overworked doing it alone, but at least the boxes were labeled and stacked and I knew what was in every single one of them.

    Hmmmm.....maybe you DO need to drink a bottle of that wine so that John can come home and find you sprawled out on the floor in front of a half-packed box. lolol Keep your chin up, girlie. You're making headway! ♥

    xoxo laurie

  27. Men! Did John call my husband and ask him for packing advice? Mine would always put off till tomorrow what he doesn't want to do today. I just about snorted when I saw what John packed! I'm guessing he thinks two weeks is tons of time, and he will step up to the plate when HE thinks it's getting close. Break open a bottle and keeping packing!!!

  28. I don't understand! If procrastination is such a bad thing, then why do they say good things come to those that wait...lol..lol Poor Suzan :(

  29. Oh sweetheart...We listed our house the first time last year and I FORCED Phil to clean out his closet. He also thought it "wasn't that bad." OMG. I also insisted on painting the insides of all the closets before everything got reorganized, thrown out, and put back in. This year he was all, "I'm so glad 'we' cleaned these closets out last year." LIKE IT WAS HIS IDEA!!! Rat. He did pack up and move his garage. But I packed Every. Single. Thing. inside the house. Everything. Absolutely everything. It was not fun.



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